Catching the Cue, Pushing the right buttons

 No matter how elusive a clue is, Sherlock Holmes is always confident that he will end up staring at the clue on the other end of the magnifying glass. And like him, big winners also know how to catch a right topic. Once, I was talking to an old Italian man when i was working as a waiter. He is a regular customer and all he did was complain about everything I did for him in the restaurant. It is either the food was off or I was speaking too soft. And i thought he didn't like me. However, one day it was pouring rain outside and I could not help it but say to him, "We have quite heavy rains in Malaysia all year round unlike some countries and it sometimes is inconvenient to us,". And he answered shortly to me, "It is good for the flowers and trees." I could not help but wonder why did he used flowers and trees. Usually, people connects things around them to their past and obviously, he has a relationship towards the flowers. So I asked him whether he like flowers and he did happily answered that his wife was a florist and she used to put fresh flowers by the side of their bed. And it reminded of her everyday after her death. From there forth, i knew about his past and I knew how to talk to him and what to talk to him. Top communicators would say that ideas don't come from nowhere. If he did bring up the subject of flowers and trees, obviously he has a relationship with them. Furthermore, when he did mention it, he might be indicating sub-consciously that he wants to talk about it. Supposedly, he did say that it is bad for his arthritis, then obviously you would know where it is leading to or what he wants to say. Now, when talking to someone open your ears and listen out for clues. Lookout for unusual repetition, or subject. Might it be a digression or invocation of a place or time or person. Ask about them, it might be a topic your partner might enjoy discussing. When two people shared a common interest, they jump on it together. People enjoy being agreed with and hate being disagreed with. Therefore, know which buttons to push and you actually enjoy better relationships with others.

~Daryl Justin De Rozario~