An intimate note to the Beloved within

Doubts create separation
Not separation creates doubts

Separation is Suffering, not Learning
for love alone is oneness

Love between minds is bound by separation of time and space
love between hearts is bound by separation of emotions & feelings
Love between souls is never ever bounded by boundaries of relationship

Such a love without relationships thus can never created nor can be destroyed
it is as old as the mountains , as old as time , yet young and rejuvenation every moment

dreams can cause expectations,
expectations can cause judgment
judgment can cause choices
choices can cause confusion
where confusion exist, there is fear to choose the right
fear causes conflicts
separation is always within not without
loving oneself ceases this separation ,
At las ! I had to be loved to learn i to love

such a great pain that i've ever felt in my life....


``kavip preya

You are the best lover...

didn't expect that everything will end so fast. I'm so happy when you were comforting me all the time whenever I'm happy,sad, and all the time you was with me. But now when i turned and look at the back you just vanished. God given me a precious gem which i can search anywhere in the world. Unfortunately HE took everything from me. I was the most happiest person when i got u as my everything but i have no you. I such an unlucky girl. Even though, you are not with me anymore i still can i still can feel the sweetest of our love. Give my life with you one word but don't forget to keep your promise.

``kavip preya

Last Blog Post

I think this post will probably be my last post on this Muraliz Kidz blog. This is week 12 already. When I realized the time passes by so fast, I actually got shocked. Our blog, began from week 2, now passed 10 weeks already. Muraliz Kidz, task group will be separated after this.

I want to talk about meeting icebreakers. What are meeting icebreakers? Meeting icebreakers, whether they are games or mental activities, go a long way in providing vital energy to people gathered together in meetings and seminars. If icebreakers are well chosen, they can ease a person through the discomfort of getting to know the others at a meeting better. I’m sure all of us need this help don’t we? This article will show you how to pick the best meeting icebreakers for your group.



Meeting icebreakers are indeed a great way for companies and organizations to get started with meetings and training sessions. There are virtually hundreds, if not hundreds of thousands, of possible meeting icebreakers that you could use during your next meeting or training session. However, always keep I n mind that icebreakers are not all equally appropriate for every circumstance. The best icebreaker is something that fits in with the meeting’s agenda and needs. So it is very important to know what the functions of icebreakers are.



How to Choose the Best Meeting Icebreaker?

The size of the group – Some meeting icebreakers work well in larger groups, while others work better for smaller groups. If there are too many people in the meeting, split them into smaller groups.

The purpose of the meeting – What are you going to do with the group once the icebreaker round is over? Will you be brainstorming for new ideas? Will you be discussing results? Will you be introducing a new project? Remember to match the mood of the meeting icebreaker to that of the meeting. Always be on the lookout and be prepared to switch icebreakers if you have misjudged the mood.

The purpose of the icebreaker – Will it awaken the group or energize them? Will it make introductions easier? Remember that you don’t have to restrict icebreakers to the starting of the meeting. A well-timed icebreaker has the ability to encourage creativity and lift flagging energy levels.

What is required – Icebreakers are effective only if they have been explained properly. Complicated meeting icebreakers require more preparation. Try to choose the simpler ones over the complicated icebreakers.

What materials are required – Verbal icebreakers are the best and there are no materials required. Flip charts and pens are generally required at meetings so stick to icebreakers that require these materials. However, if you are looking for something that’s more complicated, then make a checklist of all the things that you would require and bring them along with you.

Louis Beh ®

Confident Non-verbal Communication

Your non-verbal communication which is more frequently but narrowly referred to as body language, is a universally overlooked area to improve your confidence in communication and general self-perception. The majority of people aim to build their confidence but rarely consider the power of communicating confidence non-verbally.



You need to have high self-awareness in order to be aware of your body language. It's a matter of knowing what you do in certain situations. When you have poor body language others can see fear in you.



Moving eye contact - people with low confidence levels rarely make eye contact and when they do, as soon as the other person returns that eye contact the person looks away. You do not look silly looking the other person in the eyes. In fact, you look weirder and would be annoying the other person more so when you do not make eye contact.



Weak touch - otherwise known as haptics, touch involves bodily contact. What haptics we are interested in to develop confident non-verbal communication is mostly the handshake. You will rarely use any other haptics other then a handshake in a normal social situation. It's not as if you normally go around patting people on the back or stroking their arm. That's just strange!



Stay away - looking at body positions relative to one another now otherwise known as proxemics. What I mean by "relative to one another" is the distance between you and the other person. You are most comfortable with an intimate or well known person being close to you as opposed to someone you just met. However, people with low confidence will have a much wider radius of comfort. A more confident person will not show fear when someone "breaks" their comfortable proxemics. This doesn't mean they are comfortable with the closeness, it just means they don't show the uncomfortably. They desire the other person to stay away but they cope with the situation.



Carry yourself - the last non-verbal communication technique I feel is valuable in developing confidence is kinesics. It involves body movement. Possibly the most important kinesics in confidence is posture. A slouched posture not only screams an unconfident person, but it has a physical and psychological effect on the person with the poor posture. The physical effect of slouching your shoulders forward is it causes your chest to compress inwards. Your chest compressing simulates expelling air causing you to breathe shallowly. This means if you have poor posture you will have poor breathing.

Louis Beh ®

Presentation Aids

Being in my second semester of my foundation program, I have to deal with many assignments in which a number of them deal with presentations. I’ve witnessed an equal amount of good and bad presentations. The outstanding presenters usually have good presentation aids to support them.
These good presentation aids have a few things in common:-
1) Usage of easily seen colours
a. These aids are usually written in bold, solid colours with contrasting backgrounds as these colours go easy on the eyes.
2) Usage of direct phrases
a. The words used in the presentation aids are simple, straight-to-the-point and simple. This allows the speaker to elaborate on his free will to avoid sounding rehearsed.
3) Usage of aid to highlight a few essential points
a. The points which are highlighted in the presentation aids are the important points.
4) Usage of easily read typeface
a. Presenters use fonts which are simple and not too fancy. Easily read font types reflect professionalism.
5) Title
a. Good presentation aids have titles or headings which show the audience what to anticipate or expect from the speaker.


-Carmen Lee-

How to crash a party....

1. Do research... Know the party you are about to crash into.

2. Never crash a party that a relative or someone you know is going to.

3. Make sure never reveal your identity under ANY circumstances.

4. Your body language has to be passive.

5. Use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.

6. When speaking to guards / bouncers at the club or the party, Never mention the name of the host or the hostess. Instead, just say "Is he/she already there," or any others matter that mite occur to you.


MOST Important is be wary of your body language. Use the self-fulfilling prophecy to trick your body that it is an old-fried's party and when you can trick yourself, definitely you can trick anyone.

Being super sensitive

Have you ever get a call at the wrong moment or the just when things around you are not going very well? Well, try being tactful next time for all of you who loves calling the other person. A way to be polite to is that when you call someone, try to listen out what sound that goes through the earpiece, if you hear someone calling the person's name or a cat or you just hear something going on at the background, just try to ask whether the person is busy or is it a wrong moment to call. You can also just simply ask without the need of the background sounds. This way, the person who picks up the phone will know you are a caring and sensitive person enough. And, even though the person is not busy, they will know for sure.


~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

Come to an End

Time flies, we, muralizkidz has been formed for 11 weeks already. And I am just wondering, if we only a group which is a task group? If we do not communicate after we finish this sem? It is very important memories for each member of us. I enjoy my human communication classes so far, I have good groupmates, I have good lecturer, I have learnt a lot too.

Carmen Lee, is a group leader in mind. She is a responsible person, I learned a lot from her. However, sometimes she will be kind of crazy? She will laugh loudly like a mad lady? She is also our human communication class rep as well.

Daryl, a very creative person in our group. Most of the ideas came from him, his brain is containing many information that normal person cannot reach. He, is a good editor too! He edited our group video very well! Also, he was the person who came out with that idea to capture the video.

Amin, creative as well as Daryl? He discussed the movie with Daryl.

Preya, is a smart lady? She can understand what Murali says in class. She can absorb the knowledge easily. Also, she dare to ask questions as well.

Me, is just a very normal person compare to them. I caused many problems for them, I think? Yet, they can solve it also. I am a person who lack of interpersonal communication skills. So, I have always been silent when discussed something with them. I hope I can overcome this problem in the future.

Louis Beh ®

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is seen as a useful strategy for sharing information with others. By sharing information, we become more intimate with other people and our interpersonal relationship is strengthened. Read about self-disclosure and then complete the interactive activity and take a short quiz to test your understanding of the concept.



Self-disclosure is not simply providing information to another person. Instead, scholars define self-disclosure as sharing information with others that they would not normally know or discover. Self-disclosure involves risk and vulnerability on the part of the person sharing the information.

Louis Beh ®

How to sleep in the class...zzz

Friends there are 10 steps that you need to follow to accomplish sleeping in the class during the lectures teaching.

1. Find a spot away from the teachers desk, and other people. The corner is best.
2. Make sure there is a friend near you to wake you up if needed.
3. The "I Dropped Something" Method: Place a pencil on the floor near your desk on the right side. Place your left arm horizontally on the edge of the desk. Put forehead on the arm. Let your right arm flop down as if you are reaching for the pencil.
4. The Book Method: Set up your left arm in the same way as the last method. Open a book and place it on your lap. Place your head down on your arm. Place your right hand on the pages.
5. The Book Method #2: Place a hardcover book on your desk opened to the very middle (so the pages don't turn themselves.) Put your elbows on your desk next to the book with your forearms up. Using your hands shield your eyes like a sun visor/ baseball cap.
6. The Desk Method: Put your arm and head in the usual positions. Reach inside your desk, as if you are rummaging for something.
7. The "I'm taking notes method": Place some paper or notes, preferably with some writing on them, on the table. Place your left elbow on the table and rest the corner of your forehead on the heel of your left palm. Face your head downwards so that you are looking at the edge of your desk. Hold a pen in your right hand to the paper in front of you, as though you were writing something. Also, you can adjust your seat so that you tilt your head and body away from the teacher as much as possible. Switch hands where necessary so that the arm you're resting on shields you from the teacher.
8. Grab a book and put in standing up on your desk shielding your face from the teacher.
9. Try to cup your face if you are reading something. To do this, cup your hands around your eyes and rest your chin in your palms.
10. The long hair no-fail method: If your teacher stands in one place, and you have excessively long bangs, put them in front of your face about a few minutes before you decide to sleep. Then, fold your arms on your desk and rest your chin on your arms so your face is facing the teacher. As a variation on this method, if you are allowed to have a backpack or large bag during class, place it on your lap and fold your arms over it as if you are hugging it. Rest your head on top of the bag, instead of the desk, as this gives you a more upright posture, and looks less suspicious. Sweet dreams!

``kavip preya,,

Laugh..laugh..and..laugh....

Live will be boring if there is no laughter. So can you imagine a live without some kind of funny stuffs that you do in daily life? Where ever you go, there will be no chance for you to escape this "obstacle". It can be anything such as embarrassing experience,story and so on.

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

2. A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

laughing is a best therapy in this world.

kavip preya

Sharing is Caring.

Ever had one of those days where you feel so 'different'. Most times it is a mixture of the feeling of disappointment, shame, stress, fear and sadness. It can also be just one of those feelings.

When you have this feeling, it seems that everything is wrong. Your hair is wrong.(bad hair day) You feel as if everyone is out there to get you.(paranoia) You will take what everyone else say to heart.(more sensitive)

This is what i call a phase in every person's life where he/she is in a 'down cycle'. Let me explain.

A down cycle is a period of time which a person will feel sad and frustrated with his life. This phase will usually stay for around 2 weeks more or less depending on the person's will power.

Usually other people can easily notice a person in this sort of 'cycle' because of the way they look, act and speak.

Then people will start to talk to people in the down cycle because they are concern.

What I'm trying to say is that human communication can bring people closer to each other in times of need or joy.

When you have a friend that talks too much.

We all have that one special friend that never shuts up. Don't you agree? Well im going to assume that you do. Since this is my blog. I can write what ever i want. :)

When you find yourself alone with that person, what do you do? Both of you are friends and you do not want to hurt his/her feelings. You just nod politely and keep on saying yes. If she/he 's telling a story you have to keep on saying "and then what happened?" or "what do you feel about that?" or just say one word reinforcing statements such as "REALLY?" or "SERIOUS?". Trust me. It works.

However, you should not entertain them when they are talking to you in class. No matter how much you're interested in what they're trying to say. Why?
1) It is rude to the lecturer
2) You are disturbing others in the class who really want to learn/concentrate.
3) You should be concentrating on the class yourself
4) You do not have the ability to listen to both your friend and the lecturer at the same time
5) You might fail that subject costing you another 1.4 k
6) The lecturer might decrease your participation marks.

When this happens you should just say, "eh ill talk to you after class okay?" while pointing at the lecturer lecturing. If he/she continues his/her bad/annoying/noisy behaviour, you can just sit at another place or just tell him to "shut up". There's no point being nice anymore.

Amin

We are Hotter than The Sun

Yesterday, I came back from a leadership camp in Gopeng organized by HMC. I had a great time there and I think the camp was indescribable. The word ‘fun’ does not do the camp any justice. One of the activities I enjoyed the most was caving. We were separated into 3 groups of 7 and each group had to find their way in and out of the pitch black cave with only a candle. We were in the cave for a couple of hours trying to figure the way out. We had to communicate and work with our team members to get out of the cave because this activity is not usually physically nor mentally possible to be handled by only one person. My team, ‘Hotter than The Sun’ was awesome. We had an amazing leader, and many other fantastic group members who were silently led us. The ordeal was tough. Thirsty, tired, and famished, we managed to find our way out of the cave. When I saw the daylight, I was really glad. Partially, I was happy that we managed to find our way out, but what made me really happy was thinking about how much we have learned from each other on our way out. I can’t describe how much teamwork, cooperation, patience and tolerance were present when we conquered the jagged rocks , the steep path and the muddy slope to get to where we want to go. I felt like I’ve bonded a lot with my team members in the cave even though we could barely see each other. These bonds will not be broken easily after how much we have been through together.


-Carmen Lee-

How onion play its role....

On the flip side, onions exact a brief but uncomfortable physiological toll to those who dare to slice through their white, yellow or red-tinted skins. Within a few moments of opening up an onion, the tangy scent wafts up to our noses, and our eyes begin to water. Sometimes, the onion reaction is just a mild ocular irritant; other times, it's a full-on cry fest.

Unless you're a chef with a freshly broken heart, the tears you shed when chopping onions aren't emotional ones. That leaves two other categories of tears: basal and reflexive. Since basal tears are the ones that hang around our eyes and eyelids to act as a lubricant, that leaves us with reflex tears. The lachrymal glands above the eyelids regulate the release of tears. In the case of reflex crying, an external irritant, such as dust or smoke, triggers nerve endings in the cornea to communicate with the brain stem. The brain registers the irritation in the eye then alerts the lachrymal gland to stimulate tear production to flush away the invader.

If we're chopping onions a few feet away from our eyes, what's causing this weepy reaction? The answer begins in the soil. Onions are part of the plant genus Allium, along with garlic, chives, leeks and about 400 other cousins. These vegetables absorb sulfur in the earth, which helps form a class of volatile organic molecules called amino acid sulfoxides. These sulfoxides are the real tear-jerkers when onions go under the knife.

~kavip preya...

memory skills

Many people have trouble remembering things as they age and lose valuable memory. There are many techniques and tricks for retaining strong memory skills, which is an important skill to attain due to the vast amount of information that we individually process while being alive. Exercising the brain and body to keep your mind healthy is the best way to achieve strong memory skills. There are people who habitually forget mundane yet important things. Do you find yourself saying, “where are my keys?” or “where is my wallet?”. Sometimes, poor memory skills can disrupt the path of your life, getting in the way of your experience and causing stress. “I forgot my passport”, is a statement none of us wish to make while standing in the International Airport Terminal.

Improving your memory and developing excellent memory skills can be learned. Articles on memory improvement, strategies to improve your memory, methods to enhance your memory and the importance of sleep are available to read and memorize in this section. Reading is actually a great way to improve your memory, it encourages the brain to process information and absorb what we find interesting and relevant. These are things we tend to remember best. The key to creating greater consistency in your memory retention is to practice your memory skills and development with regularity.

~kAvip preya...

Intrapersonal communication is language use or thought internal to the communicator. Intrapersonal communication is the active internal involvement of the individual in symbolic processing of messages. Intrapersonal communication is the thought process or communication with one person or one's self. The individual becomes his or her own sender and receiver, providing feedback to him or herself in an ongoing internal process. It can be useful to envision intrapersonal communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender, receiver, and feedback loop.


Although successful communication is generally defined as being between two or more individuals, issues concerning the useful nature of communicating with oneself and problems concerning communication with non-sentient entities such as computers have made some argue that this definition is too narrow.

Louis Beh ®

Facial Expression

A facial expression results from one or more motions or positions of the muscles of the face. These movements convey the emotional state of the individual to observers. Facial expressions are a form of nonverbal communication. They are a primary means of conveying social information among humans, but also occur in most other mammals and some other animal species.


Humans can adopt a facial expression as a voluntary action. However, because expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are more often involuntary. It can be nearly impossible to avoid expressions for certain emotions, even when it would be strongly desirable to do so; a person who is trying to avoid insult to an individual he or she finds highly unattractive might nevertheless show a brief expression of disgust before being able to reassume a neutral expression. The close link between emotion and expression can also work in the other direction; it has been observed that voluntarily assuming an expression can actually cause the associated emotion.


Some expressions can be accurately interpreted even between members of different species- anger and extreme contentment being the primary examples. Others, however, are difficult to interpret even in familiar individuals. For instance, disgust and fear can be tough to tell apart.


Because faces have only a limited range of movement, expressions rely upon fairly minuscule differences in the proportion and relative position of facial features, and reading them requires considerable sensitivity to same. Some faces are often falsely read as expressing some emotion, even when they are neutral, because their proportions naturally resemble those another face would temporarily assume when emoting.

Louis Beh ®

Group Task Roles

In college, I’ve been put into many different groups for different assignments in different classes. Most of the times, the students would be randomly segregated into different groups. It’s not easy to work together in a group, be it whether you know each other or not. When you know the members in your team, it gets a little hard to challenge ideas that you think would not work for fear of hurting their feelings. When you’re grouped with people you’re not close with, it’s equally tough to do the same because you do not want to be disliked by people you just met.

There are 3 general classes of member roles in a team. They are GROUP TASK ROLES, GROUP BUILDING AND MAINTENANCE ROLES, and INDIVIDUAL ROLES.

I will be blogging on the first role which is group task roles. Group task roles are the members who hold the roles to help the group focus on achieving its goals. This role can be divided into 3 examples:-
1) The information seeker or giver : this person asks for opinions, seek clarification of issues , and presents facts or opinions.
2) The evaluator-critic : - he evaluates decisions , questions probabilities , and arises with positive and negative feedbacks.
3) The procedural technician or recorder : takes care of various mechanical duties, such as distributing materials , arranging seating , and serving as group memories.




-Carmen Lee-

The Big-Baby Pivot

Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The

instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new

acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body

turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny

tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious

face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin.

Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts “I

think you are very, very special.”*

*Leil Lowndes

~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

Asking Question Effectively

Garbage in, garbage out, is a popular truth, often said in relation to computer systems: If you put the wrong information in, you'll get the wrong information out. The same principle applies to communications in general: If you ask the wrong questions, you'll probably get the wrong answer, or at least not quite what you're hoping for.


Asking the right question is at the heart of effective communications and information exchange. By using the right questions in a particular situation, you can improve a whole range of communications skills: for example, you can gather better information and learn more; you can build stronger relationships, manage people more effectively and help others to learn too.


A closed question usually receives a single word or very short, factual answer. For example, "Are you thirsty?" The answer is "Yes" or "No"; "Where do you live?" The answer is generally the name of your town or your address.


Open questions elicit longer answers. They usually begin with what, why, how. An open question asks the respondent for his or her knowledge, opinion or feelings. "Tell me" and "describe" can also be used in the same way as open questions.


Asking probing questions is another strategy for finding out more detail. Sometimes it's as simple as asking your respondent for an example, to help you understand a statement they have made. At other times, you need additional information for clarification, "When do you need this report by, and do you want to see a draft before I give you my final version?", or to investigate whether there is proof for what has been said, "How do you know that the new database can't be used by the sales force?"

Louis Beh ®

Making a Great First Impression

It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed.


With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another person’s impression of you is formed. These first impression can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for the all the relationships that follows.


So, whether they are in your career or social life, it’s important to know how to create a good first impression.


First, you must be on time.The person you are meeting for the first time is not interested in your “good excuse” for running late. Plan to arrive a few minutes early. And allow flexibility for possible delays in traffic or taking a wrong turn. Arriving early is much better that arriving late, hands down, and is the first step in creating a great first impression.


Also, you must present yourself appropriately. The person you are meeting for the first time does not know you and your appearance is usually the first clue he or she has to go on.


They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so the “picture” you first present says much about you to the person you are meeting. Is your appearance saying the right things to help create the right first impression?


Start with the way you dress. What is the appropriate dress for the meeting or occasion? In a business setting, what is the appropriate business attire? Suit, blazer, casual? And ask yourself what the person you'll be meeting is likely to wear - if your contact is in advertising or the music industry, a pinstripe business suit may not strike the right note!


For business and social meetings, appropriate dress also varies between countries and cultures, so it’s something that you should pay particular attention to when in an unfamiliar setting or country. Make sure you know the traditions and norms.
And what about your personal grooming? Clean and tidy appearance is appropriate for most business and social occasions. A good haircut or shave. Clean and tidy clothes. Neat and tidy make up. Make sure your grooming is appropriate and helps make you feel “the part”.


Appropriate dressing and grooming help make a good first impression and also help you feel “the part”, and so feel more calm and confident. Add all of this up and you are well on your way to creating a good first impression.

Louis Beh ®

Multitasking

Human multitasking or multitasking is the performance by an individual of appearing to handle more than one task at the same time. The term is derived from computer multitasking. An example of multitasking is listening to a radio interview while typing an email. Some believe that multitasking can result in time wasted due to human context switching and apparently causing more errors due to insufficient attention. Other research illustrates our brains are capable dealing with certain 'dual multiple tasks' at the same time.With the productivity losses incurred from multitasking 4 main ways to combat it:

1. Accurately estimate the time to complete tasks.

For one day, write down all the tasks you have to accomplish and estimate the time needed. Then truthfully time yourself. You will be able to find the percentage that you routinely underestimate and can adjust your work schedule.


2. Use external memory as much as possible.

Albert Einstein once said that he keeps nothing in his mind that can be easily retrieved from paper. A cluttered brain makes it much more difficult to be creative and productive. External memory can be as simple as a pad of paper or using technology more effectively. Use the calendar on your computer to remind you of important dates or appointments and quick lists to organize your tasks.

3. Batch your work. Rather than checking e-mail multiple times per day, set times for reading and responding. Let your phone go to voice mail, if possible, and return phone calls during a specific time. Put similar tasks together, like paying bills and balancing your checking account, to increase efficiency.

4. Remove distractions. Control interruptions and noise. If the workplace is loud, discuss with co-workers ways to control the volume. Set times for consultation or questions rather than allowing unlimited access to your time. And make sure you don’t “interrupt yourself” by running to get more coffee or making a quick phone call. Use “butt glue” until the task is completed.






~kavip preya..

Group Disscussion

As a professional in the working world, there will be times when you will be required to participate in group discussions. This section offers helpful articles analyzing the rules for success in group discussions. Your career and status within your field can improve if you learn some guidelines and tactics that refine your group discussion skills.

If you have trouble speaking out of turn, interrupting others or a lack of confidence about properly expressing yourself, the techniques about handling yourself in a group discussion can be invaluable. This is helpful advice for any individual working with other people in any industry. Discussing ideas in a group is one of the best ways to solve the problem. When a person becomes a burden in group discussions due to lack of experience, an excess amount of excitement or a general lack of social skills, these factors can contribute to how you are viewed by your colleagues and superiors in the workplace.

If you are in a managerial position, it is imperative to provide an open forum for discussion where your subordinates feel comfortable sharing their ideas. If a person participating in a group discussion feels that their opinion will be ignored then the members within the group will hesitate to share what could be valuable solutions to business issues in group discussions.


~kAv!p Preya..

Parroting

Have you ever encountered a person you never really like talking to but  cannot seem to get them away from you? Or just that you are forced to have that conversation? Well, I had those experience I never want to repeat them. Well, I used to go to most tuition centers alone till got I kicked out from most because I either am sleeping in class or just being "too smart" for the teachers there to argue with me. After all, I could always use the words that "I am still paying you"... Well, in the end my parents could not find any tuition center that could stand me and finally gave up and placed me in the same tuition center with my "nerdy" cousin... My gosh, if you had known him, you'll probably have murdered him on the spot cause he never really knows how to keep his mouth shut nor does stop complaining about his results not being above par when he scores on an average of 82.2% during those high school years. The time spent there was so boring and frustrating I really got angry at my cousin for boring me with all his talking and it made the relationship between the family tight. So, one day I read on an article that was suggesting was to resurrect a conversation. It was called parroting. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen. And that where is where I learned to just turn a deaf ear to him but not total silent. Just repeat the last sentence he had just said and let him ramble all he wants and just listne to the end and continue repeating the same steps.. And there you go, Parroting...


~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

Informative Speech

The main purpose behind an informative speech is to deliver the information or message clearly to the audience. An informative speaker is responsible for researching on the topic provided and presents a detailed presentation in a very clear and concise manner. The basic theme of an informative speech is the information; therefore, proper understanding of the topic is very important. An informative speech should be an outcome of the thorough study. An informative speech is required in almost all fields, whether you are software professional or a nonprofessional, you may require to share information with your subordinates and managers. Keeping this perspective in mind, we can say that the informative speech is the key factor for success of a professional irrespective of the field he or she belongs to.



An informative speech should contain useful information that is unique for the audience and draws their attention towards the speech. If you can achieve this objective then you can easily become an informative speaker and deliver an informative speech in a proper manner. Most of the informative speeches either are written for some events or processes or are just meant to describe some new concepts and ideas.



Usually, it is not the speaker who selects the topic of presentation as the topic either is given by the high-level officers or is situational. However, if you need to figure out the topic for informative speech then you must concentrate on the topics or field in which you are an expert. Try to recall the personal experiences relating to that topic that you can include in your speech. Then the next step would be to do detailed study of the subject so that you have knowledge about every aspect of the topic. For an informative speech, it is very important that you include the matter by gathering material for the speech from libraries or from the internet.



An informative speech should be divided into three parts. First, a brief introduction of the topic is required. Then the body part of the speech should include all the details. At last, you need to conclude on a specific solution. The conclusion should draw the meaning for the informative speech and include the message to be delivered within the conclusion part of the speech. An informative speech requires the speaker to adjust the body language according to the type of explanation required, as some audiences may feel distracted due to irregular body language. Practice makes a person perfect in delivering a speech; therefore, you must practice the speech so that all the pros and cons are clear in your mind if you have chosen a controversial topic.

Louis Beh ®

Group Communication

Small-group Communication refers to the nature of communication that occurs in groups that are between 3 and 12 to 20 individuals. Small group communication generally takes place in a context that mixes interpersonal communication interactions with social clustering.

First, group discussion tends to shift back and forth relatively quickly between the discussion of the group task and discussion relevant to the relationship among the members. This shifting was the product of an implicit attempt to balance the demands of task completion and group cohesion, under the presumption that conflict generated during task discussion causes stress among members, which must released through positive relational talk. Second, task group discussion shifts from an emphasis on opinion exchange, through an attentiveness to values underlying the decision, to making the decision. This implication that group discussion goes through the same series of stages in the same order for any decision-making group is known as the linear phase model. Third, the most talkative member of a group tends to make between 40 and 50 percent of the comments and the second most talkative member between 25 and 30, no matter the size of the group. As a consequence, large groups tend to be dominated by one or two members to the detriment of the others.

As members, they must be group oriented, center conflict on issues, be critically open-minded, ensure understanding, and beware of groupthink. Group membership and leadership attitudes and behaviors are likely to be heavily influenced by culture, especially by the individual-collective and power-distance orientations.

To sum up, the skills identified is to increase our ability to function more effectively as a small group member and leader.

Louis Beh ®

The 101 on Resisting Pressure to Self-Disclose

There are many times when I ‘m with a bunch of girlfriends and one would start talking about her personal life. At times like this, it’s almost a cue in girl language to tell back a personal story to reciprocate the gesture. But I believe that a personal story should be kept personal. We could just keep quiet at times but there are some people who would do anything to get juicy stories of us. There are a few steps to prevent ourselves from spilling the beans which we will eventually regret.
1) Don’t be pushed:
Realize that we are in control of what and who to reveal to. If we are hesitant in revealing, do not reveal until we are sure we want to share our thoughts/ feelings with others.

2) Be indirect and move to other topic
Play dumb and avoid questions we are uncomfortable with. Try to change topics to hint the other party.

3) Be assertive in your refusal to disclose
If the other party is still oblivious to your hints, tell them that you’re not comfortable talking about those matters.


-Carmen Lee-

To disclose or not to disclose

Self-Disclosure has to be pondered on before doing because it carries weight and might bring upon serious consequences if it’s used against you. These factors must be considered before succumbing to pressure to self-disclose.
1) Consider the motivation to self-disclose
Before self-disclosing, make sure that the motive of it is to bring more good than harm.

2) Consider the appropriateness of the self-disclosure
Time, place etc must be taken into consideration. Self-disclosure should be done to a person who could help you or a close friend and not some random people on the street.
3) Consider the disclosures of the other person
When you are self-disclosing, be aware of the other party’s reaction. If she is not responsive and responds awkwardly, that is an indication for you to stop self-disclosing.

4) Consider the possible burdens self-disclosure might entail
Weigh the possible effects of self-disclosing before blurting all your deep dark secrets. Will it take a toll on your personal/professional life? And also think about the person you’re disclosing to. Will it be a good choice to tell your friend about how you accidentally killed someone? If it leaves the listener with mental scars, do not self-disclose.



-Carmen Lee-

Last post.

Breath in for luck
Breath in so deep.
This is air is blessed you share with me.


It means, the writer is thankful and he thinks the air around the girl he loves is blessed because they get to see each other that night. He takes deep breaths because he is excited.

This night is wild
So calm and dull
These hearts they race from self control.


The writer describes the night as wild,calm and dull. Both of their hearts are beating fast because they are emotionally excited.


Your legs are smooth
As the grazed mine
We're doing fine, Were doing nothing at all.


Just by the slightest touch of her leg. He is so emotionally affected that he had to put it into this song. It explains just how much he loves her.


My hopes are so high
That your kiss might kill me
So wont you kill me
So i die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury
or wear as jewelery
whichever you prefer.


The writer states that he loves her so much that even her kiss will eventually lead to his death.
He continues by saying that he would die at that moment because he knows that he will be happy spending his last breath on earth with the girl he loves. He later adds that his heart is hers and she can do whatever she wants with it.


A song or music can be used to write a story or even a love letter.

Interpersonal Attraction

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.

Louis Beh ®

Message Meanings Are In People

That sensitivity is especially vital when it comes to aligning the meanings that people inside and outside the organization have for the words and symbols that organizations use to communicate. It's common practice to do focus groups with customers to test promotional messages for interpretation and impact before rolling out a big advertising campaign. However, you rarely see the same attention given to assessing how employees inside the organization interpret those promotional words and symbols. What's more, the implications are seldom considered for how employees need to perform in order to deliver on the promises being made in the marketplace.

Inside or out, with one person or many, here are some guidelines to help you avoid the "meanings trap". . .

• Don't ask what a word means - because IT doesn't mean anything. Instead, ask what people mean by the words they use.
• Don't assume people know what you mean when you tell them something or send out a message. Check to make sure they've interpreted it the way it was intended.
• Don't ask people if they understand what you mean if you want to make sure they understand something important. Ask them to repeat what you've said until you're satisfied you share the same meaning.
• Don't expect to find common ground in a debate about the meaning of a word, but rather in a conversation committed to a common understanding of what is meant by the people using it. As the famed communication theorist, Marshall McLuhan, once said, "Propaganda ends where dialogue begins."

Louis Beh ®

Last but one post.

You know when you're in a relationship, the best way of communication is talking. However, it is equally better to just shut up. One thing i learned is that if you still want to keep gifts lying around from your ex girlfriends. You should put them away when your current girlfriend is around.

On not so rare occasions when your girlfriend suddenly appears at your house as a surprise, there is a chance when she's there she's going to ask you where you got all those stuff. ||

Tell her you got it from your sister or cousins. THERE YOU GO.

On the other hand, it is bad for your relationship too. So think about it first. DO you want to have a long relationships based on lies or do you want to end that relationship so that you can find other relationships that will lead you to the perfect one.

To those who are not in a relationship right now. Just wait and one day you will find the perfect one.

Love triangle

A love triangle is a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two. The relationships can be friendships, romantic, familial (often siblings), or even pre-existing hatred between rivals. Addition of bisexual or homosexual characters adds significant possible combination's of sexes, and of romantic and sexual interactions.

Love triangles can either be relatively balanced, in which the two candidates each have a fair chance of ending up with the protagonist, or they can be lopsided, in which the hero or heroine has an obvious romantic interest in one of the candidates, and considers the other candidate as less permanent love triangle occurs when a former lover of the main character makes an unexpected appearance to win back the character's heart, provoking feelings of jealousy from the main character's steady partner. However, this situation is usually not considered an actual love triangle since there is little possibility of the main character breaking up with a longtime partner to pursue a just-introduced character, and it is often used as only a test of the true depth of the main character's devotion to their partner.

Usually, a love triangle will end with the hero or heroine confiding their feelings in the suitor they feel is most virtuous or has the most interest in them. The other suitor usually steps aside to allow the couple to be happy, or comes to terms with their feelings, often claiming they couldn't love the main character as much. Sometimes they are written out of the love equation entirely by falling in love with someone else, or being killed off or otherwise eliminated. While love triangles can be accused of being cliche, if done well, they provide insight into the complexity of love and what is best to pursue in a romantic relationship.

~kAv!p Pr3yA..,

Phones

In this era, it is very rare to see someone without a phone. Even the poorest of the poor have phones. Do you know why? because it is not a symbol of wealth nor a fashion statement anymore.

It is a vital device used to communicate to one another. You can text when you can't talk out loud. You can fake a phone call if you want to get out of awkward situations. You can call your loved ones living in a distant place.

However, misusing the phone can be a very serious offense. There have been many cases of fraud committed using the phones. Thousands of texts will be blasted to random people around the world asking them to do various things like depositing a certain amount of money to a bank account in other to attain more money. How ridiculous is that? It does sound ridiculous but it applies to the rule of average. Out of a thousand people. There will be a few people that will believe that it is not a scam.

That is why this kind of scams is still happening out there.

Please do not misuse the great invention of Alexander Graham Bell.

Nice

You know when you talk to someone you just met you can decide in the next few minutes wether that person is a good or a bad person judging from their first impression. This is actually a bad thing to do because you are judging the book by its cover.

However when it comes to girls, first impressions are everything. According to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. It takes a girl the first 8.3 seconds to decide wether she's going to sleep with a guy.

Just be yourself when meeting new people because everyone else is taken.

Conflict...

Usually when ever we had a fight with someone what do we do? As i know the fight will be either
verbally or non-verbally. How if a pair of 'best friend' fight. What do they do and how they react?
The reason for this is because our brains default to a fear response system when we encounter something that puts us in the conflict. Unless we consciously choose to make peace, we will end up fighting.Conflict is good because it tells us that there is something that needs to be changed. In addition, conflict pushes us to be innovative, changing things that need improvement for the better. The problem with conflict is how we approach it. If we approach conflict from an unconscious perspective, too easily conflict can become destructive. The fear response system in our brains, if left in default mode, will compel us to freeze, flee, or fight. This can be very destructive because as people fight each other, obvious great damage can occur. On the other hand, conflict can be very constructive if people are conscious about it. If people realize that there is a conflict between them, and they consciously choose a peaceful process, they can then choose a number of different tools to assist them in finding a new, improved solution to an existing problem. In those cases, the lives of everybody will be much better. However, the key is being conscious about the conflict. Unconscious conflict is destructive; conscious conflict is constructive.Have you ask yourself how conflict solve their understanding?









~kAv!p Pr3yA,

A better alternative - Talking.

There is only one real alternative to solving conflicts beside force. This is by plain talking. Talking doesn’t bring negative effects like how force does. Still, many people fail to recognize the importance of talking in solving conflicts. Though talking is a more peaceful way in settling conflicts, it requires patience, time and great self-control. Famous, influential people like President Barack Obama knows how to talk his way out of conflicts. This quality is crucial in salvaging relationships.

- Carmen Lee-

Solving Conflicts by Force

Conflict happens. Conflict is inevitable. And when conflict happens, there are steps to manage them. One of the ways to manage them is by force. Using force to manage conflicts is highly unadvisable because force only makes matter worse. People resort to force because when they are angry and emotionally unstable, tempers tend to flare. At times like that, force seems like the easiest solution to solve matters. This is also why abuse (be it physical or emotional) happens. Force is discouraged because it often leads to more conflicts in the future.





-Carmen Lee-

Defensive Communication

Defensive behavior is defined as that behavior which occurs when people perceive threat or anticipates threat in the group. People who behave defensively, even though they also give some attention to the common task, devote an appreciable portion of energy to defend themselves. Besides talking about the topic, they think about how they appear to others, how they may be seen more favorably, how they may win, dominate, impress or escape punishment, and how they may avoid or mitigate a perceived attack.


Such inner feelings and outward acts tend to create similarly defensive postures in others; and, if unchecked, the ensuing circular response becomes increasingly destructive. Defensive behavior, in short, engenders defensive listening, and this in turn produces postural, facial and verbal cues which raise the defense level of the original communicator.


Defense arousal prevents the listener from concentrating upon the message. Not only do defensive communicators send off multiple value, motive and affect cues, but also defensive recipients distort what they receive. As people become more and more defensive, they become less and less able to perceive accurately the motives, the values and the emotions of the sender. The writer's analysis of tape recorded discussions revealed that increases in defensive behavior were correlated positively with losses in efficiency in communication.


The converse, moreover, also is true. The more "supportive" or defense-reductive the climate, the less the receiver reads into the communication distorted loadings which arise from projections of his own anxieties, motives and concerns. As defenses are reduced, the receivers become better able to concentrate upon the structure, the content and the cognitive meanings of the message.

Louis Beh ®

Miss-fire communications

Today's conversation with Carmen was weird.  What was weird is that, I told her, "Welcome into the 21st century then, I asked her what happened to her 80's clothes and it did sound I was calling her an old maid. But what i did mean was that i was trying to compliment her. 80's was a fun decade with the girls looking pretty. They were more lady-like and polite. Well, I thought she did take offense to what I had said because she suddenly said, " If you do not go away in 5 seconds, I will hate you for life." and I took flight at her words as her face was emotionless and expressionless. Scary if you all know what I mean. But then later when I text-messaged her, she told me she was joking. Speechless.

Well, the analysis is that my words to her was double meaning. It shows that I  did not think before I present my compliments which in turns leads to misunderstanding. The next was that I assumed that she knew what I meant and know what I think. Classic fouls. Last but not least, her expressions. It is a mean of displaying one's emotions. Like in Lie to Me. A quick smirk can mean as satisfaction. Hers was just  blank, and it might mean that she was trying to hide her emotions or just making me guess. Personally, I think that if retreat was not my option, it probably mite turn ugly or we'll just laugh it out though.

p/s: Carmen, sorry again. But it was fun to laugh at it now. rofl


~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

True Love

True love is

• Passion
• Intimacy 
• commitment

Now, Love must consist of at least one of this qualities and also more. Eros love style for example is a style that has more passion in the relationship but lacks intimacy and commitment. It for mostly what others experience  and link it as  "Love at first sight". Ludic love consist of passion and intimacy but lacks also commitment. This love style lives with the concept of "There are plenty of fish in the sea".  Storge love are mostly about Intimacy and commitment but lacks passion in the relationship. It is more commonly known as "Love based on friendship," . However, this love has one of the highest chance of becoming true love if passion exist. Pragma love is mostly based on religion especially among Christianity and surpass any other styles in commitment but lacks the rest. It is often introduced cultures and religion. This love style has its pros and cons. It is good because the commitment usually brings two people about together and share their feelings and leads to intimacy. From there onwards, it also leads to passion which is finally true love. It is also bad because just commitment alone will eventually lead to cheating among the spouse because there is no progression in the relationship and the human's mind always tries to seek for new things. Agapic love consist mostly passion and commitment in the relationship but lacks the intimacy. It is usually one party that eventually suffers which also can lead to break ups and true love too. No one in the right mind would want to suffer alone but it also turns into true love if the other realizes the mistake. Last but not least, Manic love consist none of the above. It is more towards infatuation and often mistaken as falling in love. It is considered as infatuation because it is more towards one party falling in love rather than two.

The process of love starts of like Manic love, and if the other party does reply the love, then it evolves to a different love style depending on the other party.  For example, if the other party is a person who is more bodily or physical love, then it becomes Eros love. If the person is the type that like sharing things and physically attached to you, but doesn't like being tied down then it becomes Ludic love. However, if the other party is more towards the type that prefers to start as friends, then it evolves into Storge love. If  it is introduced straight to marriage like in arranged marriage, then it evolves into pragma love. Most relationships will go through the evolution of Agapic love during the conflicts in the relationships.


~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

Lie To Me

I have discovered another drama series which is very nice to watch. "Lie To Me" is that drama, now it is in season 2 already. I know this drama by watching it in my Human Communication class, Mr Murali introduced us there is non-verbal communication in that drama. The brief introduction for this drama is the average person tells three lies in ten minutes of conversation.

The protagonist, DR. Cal Lightman can detect the truth by analyzing a person's face, body, voice and speech. When someone shrugs one shoulder, rotates their hand or raises their lower lip, Lightman knows they're lying. By analyzing facial expressions, he can read feelings from hidden resentment to sexual attraction to jealousy. His scientific ability is both a blessing and a curse in his personal life, where family and friends deceive each other as readily as criminals and strangers do. Lightman is the world's leading deception expert, a scientist who studies facial expressions and involuntary body language to discover not only if you are lying but why. Lightman heads a team of experts at The Lightman Group who assist federal law enforcement, government agencies and local police with their most difficult cases.

In brief, we better do not lie in front of this Lightman! He will know whether we are lying or not. However, it is just a drama, so we do not have to worry but better do not tell lie to people.

Louis Beh ®

Reaction

Case 1

Herr von Osten had a horse, Han, in fact a smart horse. He thought it to count and answer questions on addition, subtraction and multiplication. After sometime, Han could even answer question on language. It made headlines which quickly spread throughout Europe in the early 1900s. Naturally scientists, psychology professors, and veterinarians were skeptical and established a commission to decide whether its trickery or its just plain smart. What they discovered was that when they asked a question, they asked it loudly for everyone in the hall to know also and it answer correctly. But when they whispered  the question, it was just dumbfounded. So, what it means is that whenever the question is asked loudly, the answer is answered to Han by the crowd. Because the crowd gives out reactions no matter Han's answer is right or wrong. It therefore knew the answer.

Case 2

Have you ever experience this? That whenever a phone rings and someone tells you to turn the volume mute,  and because the volume is mute, you tend to watch the film or movie in a different a way by watching out for the facial expression on the face of the actors, or the reactions to the actions did. Also looking more detail into the show whether the performers is smiling, or  squinting or scowling. You don't miss a bit of the story even though it is muted because just from their expression, you can tell what they are thinking about and what are they trying to say.

In everyday life, what you should is even when talking, keep an eye on your listener and watch how they’re responding to what you’re saying. Are they smiling? Are they nodding? Are their palms up? They like what they’re hearing. Are they frowning? Are they looking away? Are their knuckles clenched? Maybe they don’t find it interesting.. Are they rubbing their necks? Are they stepping back? Are their feet pointing toward the door? Maybe they want to get away. Most people know if their conversation partners step back or look away, they’re not interested in what you’re saying. When they think you’re a pain in the neck they rub theirs. When they feel superior to you, they steeple their hands. You don’t need a complete course in body language to know all this if you watch closely. Make it a habit to get on a dual track while talking. Express yourself, but keep a keen eye on how your listener is reacting to what you’re saying. Then plan your moves accordingly.

The purpose of the story is that PEOPLE or HUMANS gives out reaction no matter what the topic or matter is about. All we need to do is learn how catch and see the reaction. If Han, a horse can do it, why cant you?


~Daryl Justin De Rozario~

The end of communication.

Tonight's blog post is dedicated to a personal friend of mine who died last night due to a bad road accident.

Jcen Wey wasn't really close to me. However we were all affected by his untimely death. It was shocking to know that a school friend had passed away.

What was more shocking was that I passed by the accident site last night. There was a lot of people at the traffic light in Bukit Rahman Putra. A friend of mine who was with me said that there might be a fight so we decided to turn around and take a better look.

When we got closer we saw a totally wrecked porsche that looked like a broken down Proton Saga. Total loss.

We didn't get down because it was 3 am at the time and my friend had to go back home because his mom was feeling paranoid at home.

Like i said, I never really got close to Jcen Wey because of difference of class and i am regretting it now. It's too late now to give him a call. It's too late now to even wish him happy birthday on facebook.

The only thing we can do now is just post messages on his facebook wall.

Death. The one thing that will ultimately end communication between humans.

Personality

While there are many different theories of personality, the first step is to understand exactly what is meant by the term personality. A brief definition would be that personality is made up of the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique. In addition to this, personality arises from within the individual and remains fairly consistent throughout life.

Some of the fundamental characteristics of personality include:

• Consistency - There is generally a recognizable order and regularity to behaviors. Essentially, people act in the same ways or similar ways in a variety of situations.


• Psychological and physiological - Personality is a psychological construct, but research suggests that it is also influenced by biological processes and needs.

• Impact behaviors and actions - Personality does not just influence how we move and respond in our environment; it also causes us to act in certain ways.


• Multiple expressions - Personality is displayed in more than just behavior. It can also be seen in out thoughts, feelings, close relationships, and other social interactions.

Almost everyday we describe and assess the personalities of the people around us. Whether we realize it or not, these daily musings on how and why people behave as they do are similar to what personality psychologists do.

While our informal assessments of personality tend to focus more on individuals, personality psychologists instead use conceptions of personality that can apply to everyone. Personality research has led to the development of a number of theories that help explain how and why certain personality traits develop.



kAv!p pR3yA..;)

Z for Zebra ( I couldnt resist that !) ;D

I know of this girl whom I like to call Z. Z falls under the Friendship of Receptivity category , that is to say, there is an imbalance of giving and receiving. Every time I talk to Z, it is as if we are competing (subtly, of course) to see who has slimmer arms or more friends. As childish as it might seem, this kind of conversation happens very often between us This relationship is toxic and it's hard to not get defensive whenever I'm around her. I’ll be writing this from my point of view so I’ll definitely be appearing as the victim in this story. (Privilege of a writer! =D)

The art of communicating with Z is simple. All you have to do is not talk. Z loves being the centre of the universe and any minute not spent talking about herself is a minute wasted. Take away all the “I” , “me”, “my”, “mine” in her conversations and she can barely string a sentence.

Besides that, Z is also not the kind of person who will rejoice in people’s happiness. In fact, every time someone succeeds, Z will give that person a phoney half-smile and you could see pure jealousy in her eyes. Sometimes, I do pity Z as I know she must be unhappy with her life. Z is a nice girl but she needs to find the balance and know when to talk and when to listen.



-Carmen Lee-

Each and Every Action There is a Meaning

This is what we called 'BHARATHANATYAM'. BHAva= expression, RAga= music, THAlam= rythm and NATYAM= dance. This is a very popular dance form in South India. It is oldest of all classical dance forms in India. Dance of mind & soul. It is extremely traditional and known for its grace, purity, tenderness, statuesque & sculptural poses. It uplifts the dancer and the beholder to a higher level of spiritual consciousness. The dancer is considered as a worshiper, worshiper of the Divine. An embodiment of beauty, charm and gracefulness. In daily life, we can see a lots of hand gestures, body languages and so on but in bharathanatyam it is very unique to see. You can definetly understand if you watch this video carefully. Without verbal communication how can we interpret what is non-verbal communication? It is very easy to understand what does it mean.




kAv!p pR3yA..

Her Greatest Gift

There are 3 different types of interpersonal relationship. They are friendship, love and, primary relationships and families. Friendship can also be divided into 3 kinds which are Friendship of Reciprocity, Friendship of Receptivity, and Friendship of Association.

Friendship of Reciprocity is a 2-way friendship. It is based on equality and this kind of friendship is characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.

I have a good friend named S. She means the world to me and I’m sure she thinks likewise. Our friendship has survived all odds as we have been through everything together, from family problems to crushing on the same boy. Though so, our friendship remained the same if not, even better. S and I will talk on the phone for hours every evening. During those hours, we will have equal amount of time to talk about what happened and every time one party talks, the other listens.

S did the greatest thing one day when I broke a lunchbox of our mutual friend’s. S accompanied me to look for a new lunchbox to replace the broken one. We spent the whole day scavenging for a similar lunchbox in malls around KL. After many hours, we finally decided that the search was a failure as no mall seems to stock these kinds of lunchboxes as my friend bought it in Japan. Seeing the look of disappointment and defeat on my face, S told me she was willing to spare me her newly bought lunchbox from Japan. She passed her lunchbox to me with no hesitation and asked me to give it to our friend and to say it was from me.

I knew S LOVED her lunchbox, why, the moment she got back from Japan, she was droning on and on about how she bought the prettiest lunchbox . The fact that she was willing to give it to me makes me smile just thinking about it. In times like these, people get to see who their true friends are. According to S, I’ve done some pretty amazing things for her too. But I’m not going to write on that here as I’ll just be blowing my own trumpet. ;p


"The best of friendships are the ones where two friends can sit on a swing, not saying a word, but walk away feeling like u just had the best conversation ever."




-Carmen Lee-

Public Speaking

Public speaking is a speaker communicates with many listeners or a speaker talks to many listeners. Some people do public speaking very well, some people do not. Why do bad public speakings happen?


One of the worst mistakes is that we can make as a public speaker is talking too long. It doesn't matter if our entire speech were brilliant and the audience came away with information that will change their lives. If we talk too long, they will leave saying, "That speaker just would not quit." Don't let this happen to us. Say what we have to say and sit down. Before we do, give them a well thought out closing.


If the subject is appropriate, I happen to be fond of humorous closings for several reasons. If we leave them laughing and applauding, we will exit, but an extremely positive impression about us will remain. Another good reason to leave them laughing is that the room will not be deadly silent as we are walking back to our seat. I hate when that happens. I do love laughter and feeling good; finishing a speech humorously gives me and the audience an opportunity to feel great. Speeches that are for entertainment purposes only should generally leave the audience laughing.


In brief, don't be afraid to use humor when speak in public.

Louis Beh ®

Leadership Function

The leadership is the key to succeed in the competition of a co organizations. The leadership gives you the possibility to go ahead with right direction. The leadership also drives the vehicle of Organization and makes it reach its destination. The good leader can solve the problems in few moments but leadership lacking will result collapse of the organization in terms development. Communication is the best tool for the leadership as the leader uses the words in decent style to attract the listener. Listeners make a positive impression about the leader.


Leaders are the decision makers so they are free to take decision. First of all, they must consult with the team and then impose the decision . However, there are some points which are no liable to be consulted with staff . They are the principles set by the organization and governing the code of conduct. The most important quality of the leadership is to asses the performance of the organization and reputation among the public . If the organization is an educational institute , then it must sustain its standard and provide quality education along with talented scholars .The leadership functions also contains alignment of organizational practices with values and vision . This mean that the organization must follow values and the vision .Leaders can alter organizational practices and standards so as to make them suitable for the people to adapt and avail. They take initiative for the improvement of the intuition and its products . They also facilitate the quality interactions among the staff as well as the general public or consumers.


In conclusion, leadership is the back bone for the development and structure of any organization.

Louis Beh ®